Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar

Letters of the Tsaritsa to the Tsar - January 1916

No. 184
Tsarskoie Selo, January I-st 1916
My own beloved Angel,
The new year has begun & to you I send the first words my pen traces. Blessings & boundless love I send you. We had a mass in the other side of the house at 10 l/2 & then I answered telegrams & got to my prayers before 12 - I heard the Churchbells ring lying on my knees, crying & praying with heart & soul.
Sweet Lovebird, what are you doing? Have you been to Church? Alone in yr. empty rooms, a sad sensation!
One happy man I saw this evening, that was Volkov, as I have named him MY 3-st page, the others beeing old & so often at death's door - he cried when thanking me - we remembered how he brought us in a present at Coburg, when we were engaged & I remember him yet before at Darmstadt. - I cant write any more to-night, my eyes are too sore. Sleep well, my precious One, my Sunshine.
Goodmorning Huzy, my own!
22 of frost, bright weather. Slept badly, heart ached - this morning more enlarged so have to spend the day in bed - sorry for the children - if better, shall get over onto the sopha in the evening to have this room aired.
Got a telegram from Sandra from town, glad poor little Xenia not alone, as she feels so very unwell.
Longing for news from you, as only had a wire upon your arrival 24 hours ago & my thoughts dont leave you, - As Baby has a wee bit scratchy throat, he remains at home. - The others have gone to Church. -Darling treasure, I trust this bright sunshine will bring many blessings to our brave troops & dear country and shine into your life with bright hope, strength & courage. - Have any amount of telegram to answer. Yesterday I received Mme Khvostov (wife of Minister of justice) & pretty daughter, who marries next week, before the young Artillery officer returns to the war - he had 7 wounds. Then received 4 wounded officers, Vilichkovsky & a Kalmyk & Priest of theirs, who ask, me to send wounded earlier in this year to their hospitals for mare's milk - they want to arrange also a sanatorium, wh. wld. be splendid. - Well, in bed one wont get at me & that will be perhaps better & help getting my heart sooner into order. - A. spent the night in town, she went after 5 already - & after her telephone, by our Friend's order. She told me what to tell you at once about the trams. I know, Alek once tried to stop it & at once there were rows - what general gave the order now? It is perfectly absurd, as they have often to go great distances, & a tram takes them there in no time. It seems an officer, because of the order, kicked a man out of the tram & the soldier tried to beat him - its bitterly cold too & really, gives rise to nasty stories - our officers are not all gentlemen, so that their ways of explaining things to the soldiers are probably often "with the fist". - Why do people always invent new reasons for discontent & scandal, when all goes smothely. Beletzky got hold of a gang & brochures, wh. were being printed for the 9-th, to make filth again knowing our Friend, God will help them serve you.
The children are lunching next door & making wonderful noises.
"EngineerMechanic" has arrived unexpectedly & so prevents med (icine) wh. is a bore.. -
This instant, quite unexpectedly your sweetest letter was brought - oh thank you Lovy mine, thank you tenderly for yr. sweet words wh. warmed up my aching heart the best gift for the beginning of the new year. Oh, Lovymine, what good it does a tender word like that! you don't know, how much it means to me, nor how terribly I miss you - I yearn for your kisses, for your arms, shy Childy only gives them me in the dark & wify lives by them; I hate begging for them like Ania, but when I get them, they are my life, & when you are away, I recall all your sweet looks & every word and caress. -
Baby received a charming telegram fr. all the foreigners at the Headquarters in remembrance of the little room in wh. they used to sit & chat during "Zakuska".
Ania brought a flower from our Friend for you with His blessing, love and many good wishes. - Goodbye my Angel Dear, I bless & kiss you over & over again yr. own
Wify.

No. 185.
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 2-nd 1916
My own beloved Darling,
Nice bright sunshine, 20 of frost. Did not sleep well as head continues aching, so excuse short letter. Was on the sopha yesterday fr. 9-11, but the head began aching thouroughly then - therefore I remain again in bed to-day,, as head & heart ache more when I move. Maria & Anastasia went for an hour to church, because of Ania, who takes Holy Communion the others were in the hospital & now they are lunching next door. No news from the front - - shows the weather has not yet changed for the better. - I made a mistake Sandro is not here, it's the other one who telegraphed to me. Sergei too is in town again. Nikolasha wired from his family. - My Beloved, my lonely Sweetheart, my old heart aches for you, I so well understand that feeling of emptiness, tho' there are many people around - no one to give you caresses. - When A. speeks of her loneliness, it makes me angry, she has Nini near whom she tenderly loves, twice a day comes to us - every evening with us four hours & you are her life & she gets daily caresses fr. us both & blessings; you have nothing now - only all in thoughts and fr. far. Oh, to have wings & fly over every evening to cheer you up with my love. Long to hold you in my arms, to cover you with kisses & feel that you are my very Own, whoever dares call you "my own", - you nevertheless are mine, my own treasure, my Life, my Sun, my Heart! 32 years ago my childs heart already went out to you in deep love. - Of course you are your country's first of all & that you show in all your deeds, precious One. - I just read what you write to the army & the navy as New Year's greeting. - have you let know about W's birthday, that they may feast it in the same way as yours was? Baby began writing his first diary yesterday, - Marie helped him, his spelling is of course queer. Cannot write any more to-day. - Every thought is with you. I bless you fervently & sent warm "soft" kisses. Ever Huzzy mine, very own tenderly, loving, deeply devoted little
I reread your letter & love it. -
Wify

No. 186
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan, 3-d 1916
My very own Sweetheart,
This morning only 5 degrees - such a great change. Scarcely slept this night - after 4-5 1/2 - after 7-9 - head better, heart more enlarged, so remain in bed again. Yesterday was up from 9-11 again on sopha. -

Am sorry one takes Masha's chiffre off, but once that done, there are gentlemen who allow themselves to say things, whose golden coats and aiguillettes can now in future well be taken from them. Give Maximovitch the order to pay attention in the club Khvostov begged Fredericks to help him, but the latter could not or did not understand the necessity. Alas, Bor. Vassiltchikov has changed much for the worse and many another oh, they need to feel yr. power - one must be severe now. -
A. was awfully happy with yr. telegram and says she wrote a rotten answer with the Parents, tho' she did not add half the official things the old man wanted her to write. -
I send you a whole collection of letters. Excuse bad writing, I don't know why I cannot write evenly with this selffilling pen, because its so hard probably. I enclose a postcard made of Baby's photo by Hahn at the Headquarters when we were there - it's such a good one. - It's snowing. - How dull I write. But I am squashed and humour not bright, so cannot rite nicely. The Children are eating next door, chattering and firing away g away with their toy pistols, - Oh, my Angel sweet my Own, very own - do so long for your loving arms to be around me, to hold me tight. The consolation of yr. loving letter! I continue rereading it and thanking God that really I can be something for you - I long to - I do love you so intently with every fibre of my heart. God bless you my sunshine, my one and all - I kiss and kiss you without end, pray without ceasing, that God may hearken unto our prayer send consolation, strength, success, victory, peace, peace in every sense - on is so dead tired and weary f r. all the misery.
Ever Huzy mine, life of my life, the blessing of it, the gratitude for every second of love you have given me.
Yr. little woman, Yr. Wify.

No. 187
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 4-th 1916
My own Sweetheart,
It was such an unexpected joy to receive your sweet letter yesterday afternoon, and I thank you for it with all my deeply loving heart. My day passed as usual, Ania read to me a little in the day. Got on to my sopha from 9-12, N. P. came to tea from 10-12 - had not seen him since last Monday, missed you, Lovy, as never had him to tea without you, but he leaves probably the 8-th, according to the day he has to meet Kirill at Kiev. To-night he leaves for 1 day to bid his sisters goodbye. He told us how touchingly kind Motherdear was to him; kept him half an hour, talked about the marine of the guard, politics, the old man whom she finds honest, but a fool because he offen ded Buligin - said how deeply she regretted N. P. was leaving her son, such a true and honest friend, fished an image out of her pocket and blessed him - he was awfully touched by her kindness. It seems Sablin 3 (whom other believe, alas, to be his brother) spread the story about his being sent out there, away fr. you for having spoken against our Friend, such a beastly shame arid it has made him again less willing to go to Gregory, as tho , now, it would look as if he went to beg for himself; and he ought to see him before going to the war, his blessings can save him fr. harm, I shall see him again and then beg him to go its a subject one has to handle gently - Manus did all the harm then. -
Ebikin saw him several times and will do all about getting the men, I think they look at them together before he leaves. K. begged Grigorovitch to ask Kanin to send officers from the "Oleg". They have sent for Kozhevnikov to prepare the men for his Company - that goes together with 3 weeks leave, - then Rod. and so on they got no leave till now since easter, as had to be always ready at Sebastopol and Odessa. Gutchkov is very ill - wish he would go to yonder world for you and Russians blessing, so its not a sinful wish.
The Children went to the Silaievs yesterday, Olga and Tatiana and enjoyed them. - I slept so badly, heart enlarged and head aches rather, so remain in bed. - Ania "rushes" about arranging her refugee-home, as wants to take some men in on the 6-th - I scrape up things for her too and order others she needs. They say the house looks so cosy, Tatiana went to look at it! - 15 degrees of frost to-day. Bichette wrote in despair to Mme Zizi to crave your forgiveness, that her son was not at Nieswicz when you went there. Since, 17 months he had not left, and only then went for 2 days to see his mother and Grandmother, who was feeling ill. Had they known you were coming, she too would have flown to meet you. -
Baby seriously writes his diary, only is so funny about if, as little time in the evening, he writes in the afternoon about dinner. Yesterday as a treat he remained long with me, drew, wrote and played on my bed - and I longed for you to be with us - oh, how I want you, beloved One, but its good you are not here, as I am in bed and I should never see you, as they have the meals next door. - Very windy and cold, Baby remains in, because of his cold, and Poliakov says he must never go out above 15 degr. for some years still, tho' I sent him out before to 20. Olga and Anastasia also have colds, but go to hospitals and drove yesterday - sledged in a sleigh driven by three horses. PapaFeodorov and Olga Evgenievna have come to town and hope to see her. -
How is the little Admiral, and do they get on with Mordvinov at domino? What news has Grabbe from our dear Convoys. The Children are eating and firing away with their rotten pistols. Xenia feels still very weak fr. her influenza - Felix has got the mumps. -
Sweety, are you seriously now thinking about Sturmer, I do believe its worth risking the German name, as one knows what a right man he is (I believe yr. old corespondent lady spoke of him?) and will work well with the new energetic ministers. I see they have all gone off in different directions to try and see things with their own eyes - a good thing - also that communication will soon be stopped between Moscou and Petrograd. I am glad you enjoy the book, am not sure; but fancy you gave it me once to read, did not Sandro give it you?
Now my Sunshine, my Joy, my Husband beloved, Goodbye. God bless you and protect you and help you in everything.
I cover you with tenderest gentlest and yet passionately loving kisses, Love bird. Ever yr. own unto and beyond death.
Wify.

No. 188
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 5-th 1916
My own Sweetheart,
What joy, I received your sweet letter from the 3-rd this morning - nice snowstorms must have retained the trains. We all 6 are intensely happy over our letters and thank you for them as tenderly as we only can. A bright, sunny morning, 15 degrees and a very cold wind. That's good you found a spade to work, get Mordvinov to come and help you, otherwise this solitude must be distracting, and I can feel how you miss sweet Sunbeam everywhere.
I slept a little better this night and my heart too is better, tho' aches a good deal and I feel still rotten, so keep to my bed. Have not yet been able to begin my medicines. Hope poor, spineless Valia will soon be better - give him over my compliments. Anastasia has a cold, 37.5 and Bekker, and did not get to sleep till very late, Olga has a slight one too and Baby a tiny bit. -
How good the things go well in the Caucasus - what Grigorovitch papers say fr. German and Austrian sources of course is always different - and as tho' on the Roumanian frontier they had good luck and we terrible losses - but the latter you knew still here, yes? And not too terrible, therefore you stopped. - Gutchkov is better!! -
How nice that Harding wired from all - yes, how things do change in this world.
The 3 eldest are off to church - long to go, get consolation and strength there. - Oh my Lovebird, "me loves oo" quite terribly! -
Here I send you card from Louise. - Your sweet letters are such a joy to me and I reread and kiss them incessantly.
Dearly beloved One, sunshine of my aching soul, I wish I were with you, far from all these worries and sorrows, quite by ourselves and the wee ones, to rest a while and forget all - one gets, oh, so tired!
Mita Benkendorf told at Paul's, that Masha had brought letters from Ernie, Ania said she knew nothing, and Paul said it was true who told him? They all found it right the chiffre was taken from her (I personally find, that S. Jv. T. and Lili who behaved so badly and were my own personal ladies ought far sooner to have suffered, and other men too) - it seems a letter fr. a Pss. Galitzin, to her was printed, a horrid one, accusing her of being a spy etc. (wh. I continue not to believe, tho' she has acted very wrongly fr. stupidity and I fear, greed of money). - Paul is still offended about Rauch - whenever I see him, I shall certainly explain things to him wh. are as clear as day. -
I saw in the papers that nice Tkatchenko died at Kharkov - am so sorry - many a remembrance of the peaceful, happy bygone are linked with his name!
An old friend of the Standarts. - Kilhen (I thought it was written with a "g") has died - such a shame they cleared him out from Bessarabia because of his German name - I never heard that name before. There are german names here wh. do not, I believe, exist elsewhere. -
I read an endless letter fr. Max to Vicky, wh. he wished me to read - he tries to be just, but it was more than-painful, as many things, alas, were true about here and the prisoners - I can only repeat that I find one must send a higher placed official with Mme Orjewsky to inspect our prisons, especially, in Siberia. it is so far away, and certainly people, alas, it, our Country, do but rarely fulfil their duties well, when out of sight. The letter hurt me, much truth was in it and also things that were wrong, and he says ours wont believe things said against the treatment here (neither do they vice versa) - I saw what the sisters had told him, also about the cosacks. But all that is too painful, only I find in that he is right, when he says they have not enough food to feed their prisoners much, as all cut off their food from outside (now fr. Turkey I think its great gain for them) - and we can give more food - and more grease they need, and in Siberia the trains go alright - and warmer barracks and more cleanliness. Out of humanity sake and that one dare not speak badly of our treatment to the prisoners one longs to give severe orders, and that those who don't fulfil them will be punished - and I have not the right to mix in as a "German" - one, some brutes, persist on calling me so, probably so as to hinder my interference. Our cold is too intense, with more food one can save their lives, 1000 have died our climate is so terribly trying. - I hope Georgi and, Tatistchev will inspect on their way back and thoroughly - especially the small towns and poke their noses well into everything, as one does not notice all at first sight. - Fredericks might have wired a cypher to Georgi with yr. order, only yr. Mama and I begged him to go and look. - He must not say it before hand, otherwise they will prepare things on purpose Tatisichev can be a help as he speaks German well and will know how to be with the German officers and found out the real truth about their treatment and whether they have really been beaten, as thats disgusting if true and may have happened out there - as better for us, they too will do things more humanely, as Max intends helping in his mother's memory - so if Georgi does, it wld. be excellent; and send someone else also here about, and Mme Orlevsky to Siberia to meet Georgi, these are wify's ideas. - Why dont you, now that you are, free'er, prepare all for the old man's change - I am sure he feels he has not acted wisely latterly, because he long has not tried to see me - lie realises he is, alas, not in the right.
Precious One - I have sent Baby to church for the blessing of the water - he had masters before. Such sunshine!-
I am so glad Ania has that work to do about her "home", - several times a day she goes there to see to all, to order things, and what a lot one needs for 50 invalids, sanitarys, sisters, doctors etc. Viltchkovsky and Loman and Reshetnikov (fr. Moscou) help her - I think she has 27,000 - all been given to her, not a penny yet of her own. Its so good a t l a s t she has something like that to do, not time to have "the blue devils" and God will bless her for this work. She has lost a pound this week in consequence, wh. delights Zhuk. To-morrow she takes in her first soldiers -
So you, Sweetheart, also only got my letter this morning - - is it possible so much snow or our railways once more at fault - when will there at last be order, wh. in every sense our poor country needs and wh. is not in the Slave nature! re!
I read one has evacuated Cetinje and their troops are surrounded well now the King and sons and black daughters here, who wished so madly this war, are paying for all their sins towards you and God, as they went against our Friend knowing who He is! God avenges Himself. Only I am sorry for the people, such heroes all - and the Italians are selfish brutes to have left them in the lurch - cowards! Baby will write to-morrow, he slept long to-day. -
I bless you and kiss you without end, with fervent love.
yr. very own little
Wify.
The Priest I hear is coming to bless the rooms, so I must put on teagown and crawl back to bed - its nice he remembered to come, tho' Church is not in the house to-day.

No. 189
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 6-th 1916.
My very own Treasure,
It was such a joy having two letters to reread ever so often yesterday and to cover with kisses. I was in bed at 2 1/2 and only got to sleep after 3 1/2 (as usual now) and reread them again and hovered over every tender word. The heart is again enlarged, tho' I twice took my adonis yesterday - I told Botkin I need a moments fresh air - so he said I might go unto the balcony, there being only 5 degres and no wind. Poor Anastasia has 38 this morning and slept very badly. At first I feared it might be the beginning of measels, but they say that no - so I suppose only influenza - Marie will sleep this night with the big sisters, its better. They went to Church at 9 and now are in the hospital, Tiny is going there too. - I miss my hospital so much - but what's to be done. -
Ah yes! I often think how lovely it would be in your free hours to sit cosily by yr. side and chatter away calmly, with no ministers etc. to bore us - it seems as tho' all difficulties and sad things come together for you. - our friend is sad about the people of Montenegro and that the ennemy takes everything and is so pained that such luck accompanies them - but always says the final victory will be ours but that with great difficulty as the ennemy is SO strong. He regrets one began that movements I think without asking him - he wld. have said to have waited - he is always praying and thinking when the good moment will come to advance, so as not to uselessly loose men. Please, thank General Williams in Baby's name for the pretty cards - it is interesting for him to have the collection. - Anastasia has bronchitis, head is heavy and hurts her swallowing, coughed in the night, she writes about Ostrog(orsky). Although he said that I look a litttle better than yesterday, but I am pale and my appearance is foolish in my view just like the "Shvibzik" to say such things; - such a bore I cant sit with my Beloved Darling, I think of you so endlessly lovingly and Suffer over your loneliness - Nobody young and bright near you, a thing one needs so much to keep one going when worried and hard-worked. - just collected 10 simple e Images for Ania's Invalid house, she takes in her first men to-day. Well, I lay for 1/4-an hour on the balkony - nice air, heard the bells ringing, - but was glad to get into bed again - still not feeling famous. - I send you a petition from our Friend, its a military thing, He only sent it without any word of comment - and then a again a letter from Ania.
A week to-day that you left us - to me it seems very much longer, wify misses her own, her Sunshine, her one and all in Life and longs to caress and cheer him up in his loneliness, Sweetest of Sweets. I have nothing of interest to tell you, as I see nobody. Had a wire from a Miassoyedov Ivanov yesterday thanking for pretty Regimental book I sent them - they have moved on to Belozorka wherever that may be. -
Malama wrote a card to Ania saying that they leave "for business and go on that account West. The place is not especially pleasant, to rest in a hole is also not well, but not for long. Yesterday went to the dance arranged by the detachement the whole village "monde", was there I enjoyed myself much and am arranging a similar affair tonight."
Now my Beloved, my Angel, my one and all I hold you tightly in my arms, gaze long and tenderly into your sweet loveley eyes, kiss them, and every bit of you - and "me" alone has the full right to this true?
God bless and protect you and keep you from all harm. Ever yr. very own old
Sunny.
Lovy, you burn her letters so as that they should never fall into anybody's hands?

No. 190
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan- 7-th 1916
My very own beloved Darling,
I received your sweet letter after having sent off mine - thanks for it with all my heart. It is lovely that you can write to me every day & I devour your letters with such endless love.
N. P. dined with A. & then spent the evening with us. He was disgusted with Moscou & all the filth one says there & it took him lots of trouble to clear up many horrors his sisters had heard & false opinions they had. Here he avoids the clubs, but friends tell him lots of things.

The train fr. Sebastopol was late, so he stuck at Moscou station from 2-4 in the night, & reached Petrograd at 5 instead of 2. - He says about Manus its not true about his wishing to change his name, enemies of his spread things about him, because they are jealous he got that rank & he had a row with Miliukov, who wrote lies about him & now people want to set to set the little Admiral against him out of spite. N. P. went in the train with old Dubensky, who spoke very frankly to him about the old Headquarters & all the stories & "nice" things about fat Orlov & plans he & others had, coinciding with what our Friend said, I'll tell you when we meet.
Have you any plans in view or any journeys, as you have less to do now & it must be so dull at the Headquarters.
Lovy, I don't know, but I should still think of Sturmer, his head is plenty fresh enough - you see Khvostov a tiny bit hopes to get that place - but he is too young - Sturmer would do for a bit, & then later on if you ever want to find another you can change him, only don't let him change his name "it would do him more harm than if he kept his old & venerated ones" as you remember, Gregory said - & He very much values Gregory wh. is a great thing. You know Volzhin is an obstinate nuisance wont help Pitirim wont give into things unless he gets yr. special order frightened of public opinion. Pitirim wishes Nicon (the brute) to be sent to Siberia, you remember & Volzhin wishes him to go to Tula & the Metropolitan finds it not good he should be in the centre of Russia, but further away, where he can do less harm. Then he has other good plans about paying the clergy,& Volzhin wont agree & so on. Shall I ask Pitirim to write me a list of the things he finds neccessary & then I can give them you to order Volzhin to fulfill. Pitirim is so clever & largeminded & the other just not, fr. fright.
Anastasia's temp. in the evening was 37, she spoke with me by telephone. Alexei came to our dinner already in his dressing gown at 8.20 & wrote his diary wh. he is sweet about. Your message came in time, as he was already beginning to get a bit bored about it, not, knowing when to have time to write. -
Such a craving for your caresses, yearning to hold you in my arms and rest my bead upon your shoulder, as in bed & to cudle up close & lie quite still upon yr. heart & feel peaceful & at rest. So much sorrow & pain, worries & trials - one gets so tired & one must keep up & be strong to face everything. I should have liked to see our Friend, only never ask Him to the house when you are not there, as people are so nasty. Now they pretend he has received a nomination at the F. Cathedral wh. obliges him also to light all the lamps in the palace in all the rooms ! One knows what that means - but that is so idiotic that any sensible person can but laugh at it; - as do I.
You don't mind my seeing N. P. often now? But as he leaves in a few days (his friends left), the whole days he is occupied & in the evenings quite alone & downhearted. After all these talks here & in Moscou that he has been sent away because of our Friend - its not easy for him leaving you & us all, & for us too its horrid to have to say goodbye - one has so few real friends & he is our very nearest. He will go to our Friend, thank God. Ania spoke lots to him & then I did all about the great change this summer - he did not know that it was He who kept you & us up to the absolute necessity for you, our & Russia's sake. I had not spoken to him alone for months &I was afraid to speak about Gregory, as I knew he was doubting him - it has not yet quite passed I fear - but if he sees Him he will feel calmer believes so in Manus (I don't) & I believe he set him against on Fr. & now he calls him Rasputin, wh. I don't like & I will try & get him out of this habit.
So much milder, 10 in the evening only - those changes are bad for the health. -
What do you say about Montenegro? I don't trust that old King & fear he may be up to mischief as he is most untrustworthy &above all ungrateful. What have the poor Servian troops done wh. had gone there? Italy is disgusting to my mind & so cowardly, she easily might have saved Montenegro. - Bow to nice old Po from me & to General Williams & Baby's dear Belgian. - I am sure the blessing of the waters must have been very fine - such a pretty place down by the river, the steep street & mild weather. Anastasia is better, 36.5, feels clearer in the head & the cough already less - it seems only the tops of the bronchi were touched. I slept most rottenly & feel idiotic, so will go out on the balcony -
1 degree of warmth - & Isa will keep me company.
Am sorry to bother you with petitions, but Bezrodny is a good Dr. (he knows our friend already long) & only you can help, so write a word on his memorandum (there was no petition) to say one is to give him the divorce & sent it to Volszhin or Mamantov.
Then there is a paper from a Georgian, Gregory & Pitirim know & ask for - well you can send it to Kotchubei, tho' I doubt he can do anything for this Prince David Bagration-Davidov - or do you know him? - Then a paper from Manzantov (Gregory knows him many years) - it seems, an injustice was done, can you just look it through & do according to what you think right with it.. Sorry to bother you, but they are for you - simpler ones I send straight to our Mamantov without any commentary. Baby's throat is a bit red, so he wont go out - it's the real weather for catching cold - these great changes. - Did you repeat the order about William's birthday being allowed to be feasted the same as yr. namesday was? - Did you, think over again, that people of the Duma, such as Gutchkov, shld. no more be allowed to go to the front & speak to the troops? He is recovering, honestly I must say, alas! One ordered services for him at the cathedral & now he becomes yet more of a heroe in the eyes of those that admire him. Here is a letter from Alexei.
Sweetheart, me thought so quite particularly of you this sleepless night with such tender longing & compassion! - How is you ?
Now Goodbye, my Sunshine, my long-loved Huzy, God Almighty bless and protect you & help you in all yr. decisions & give you great firmness of character.
Kisses, tender & passionate without end, fr. yr. very own fondly loving
Wify.
Bow to Mordvinov: & Silaiev.
Where is Misha, no living sign fr. him since he left in Dec.

No. 191
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 8-th 1916
My own Darling,
Very tenderly do I thank you for yesterday's precious letter. - The end was so sweet and full of tender meaning - lady thanks for the caress wh. she returns with great love! -
Well Babykins went up after luncheon with a heavy head, rather red throat, ached swallowing, so I told him to lie down an get a compress on. Later he had 38.4. but the head got better. I no more saw him, we only spoke to him and Anastasia by telephone, she felt better, 37.2. - Ania coughed 2 days and was feeling feverish when she came in the afternoon, so I made her measure her temperature, 37.9. so I sent her home instead of to her wounded, Akelina remains the night with her, the Dr. gave her medicine, she drank hot red wine blessed by our Friend - I hope she will be better by to-morrow. She wrote in a very gad mood - and begged to say she kisses you. - I remained on the sopha after the balkony till 6 - and then up for dinner again - feel weak all day and not very nice. N. P. came after 9 and kept us company and the children tried all sorts of music for the gramaphones. I want for our, and Ania's hospital. He says one sends Rodionov now instead of Kozhevnikov, and as soon as he arrives, Saturday or Sunday, he supposes Kirill and he leave. If you are at the Headquarters, Kirill wanted to pass there for 2 days, then N. P. thought better to join him at Kiev so as not to look pushy at Moghilev, but if you are away, as Dubensky hinted to him you might be, then he and Kirill will go straight fr. here to-gether. He bought masses of shoes for their horses and nails etc. and things without end the others of Kozhevnikov, and as soon as he arrives, Saturday or Sunday, he supposes, the son of ours, Koni and the other names he had forgotten. It freshens one up to see him - it's lovely - to-day a week. that I am so to speak in bed and one does not feel bright nor over gay - and neither does my own Lovebird. - Its been raining and "dirty" weather. - Am so glad Trepov's and Naumov's journeys were useful and I hope they woke up everybody thoroughly one must go about oneself and poke ones nose into everything, then people work harder and feel that one is watching them and can turn up any moment. How good you have a cinema for all the children and then they can see you nicely too.
Anastasia slept well, 36.8, Alexei only woke up twice in the night, 37.6, is in the playroom, in bed and very gay. I hope to go upstairs this afternoon to see them both. In the morning I am to lie on the balkony again. 2 degr. of warmth, rainy, windy, dark, dull weather shall get Isa there again to speak over affairs.
Did not sleep again very well and had nasty dreams, head aches rather, heart too, tho' just now not enlarged. Ania slept very badly, to wh. she is unaccustomed, coughed much, head aches and 38. Olga has gone there for a little and Marie will at 12 - stupid I cant. Perhaps you will tell me to give her your love to cheer her up. All about people have influenza, rotten thing. - Could you not have got Sturmer to quietly come to the Headquarters, you see so many people, to have a quiet talk together before you settle anything. - Look here, when you see Dubensky cleverly draw the question to speak about fat Orlov and make him tell you things about him - if he has the courage to show up the man's vileness wh. drags in others too high placed of the old Headquarters - Feodorov, I think, knows it too. Me, he always spoke of as "she" - and that he was sure I w1d. not I let you come soon to the Headquarters again after they had forced "their" ministers upon you, - ask about Drentela too, who had the convent in view for me ulitmately - Dzhunkovsky, Orlov ougt straight off to have been sent to Siberia - after the war is over you ought to have a punishment made - why should they, go, free with good places, when they had prepared all to have you changed and me shut up, and who did all, to be nasty to yr. wife - and they wander about and other people think they were unjustly cleared out, as they went scot'-free.. Its vile to think of the falseness of humanity - tho' I long knew and told you my feeling about them thank God, Drenteln has also gone - now these are clean people round you, and I only wish N. P. were of their number. We spoke long about Dmitri - he says that he is a boy without any caracter and can be lead by anybody. 3 months he was under the influence of N. P. and held himself well at the Headquarters and when in town with him, kept himself like the other and did not go to ladies companies but out of sight - gets into other hands. He finds the regiment perverts the boy, as their coarse conversations, jokes are horrid and before ladies too and they draw him down. Now he is used as aide de camp. -
"Shvibzik" (Anastasia) just wrote one of her funny notes - to-day she has to keep still in bed. -
I spent my time writing notes to all the invalids. Ania had a letter from dear Otar Purtseladze - tell it to Silaiev. He sends lots of good wishes, feelings, love to the family; - and is happy we have seen his wife and boy.. Learns French and English - gets up and goes to bed early - does not say how kept or fed nor any details only in despair to be there instead of serving at such a time.
Now Sweetheart, Beloved, my Own, My very Own, I bless you -, kiss you, press you tightly in my arms, with infinite love and gratitude for 21 years perfect happiness for wh. morn and night I thank God.
Oh, howl I long for you and yr. tender caresses - I send you all, all, all, the same as you did.
Ever yr. own old
Sunny.
Does the paper smell good!!!

No. 192
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 9-th 1916
My own Sweetheart,
Mild, snowing, raining and dark. The 2 little ones slept well, have 36-3 and 36.4- 1 shall go again up to them in the afternoon. - Have been reading reports and Isa came to help about a few questions and yesterday evening too. - The Children went in several times yesterday to see Ania - I and Tatiana late, still after cleaning instruments in the hospital. She had 4 people all day, her Father, then our Friend and nice Zina, then her Mother, then Axel P. who, has come for 3 days, and Zhuk. The Metropolitan hearing she is ill, wants to see her too -- awfully kind and she does not know what to do. Her maid last night 40.2, Angina, so the Dr. took her off to the hos pital and her old Zina came in to help Akelina. She did not sleep the night because of her cough - now she is better no doubt, as has not let me know about her temp. - She said to kiss you and beg for yr. prayers, therefore I had to wire and also what our Fr. said about Sturmer not to change his name and to take him for a time at least, as he is such a decided loyal man and will hold others in hand, - let one scream if one wishes, they always will at any nomination. N. P. spoke by telephone: Kirill sends him off to-night to Helsingfors to see Kashin and the staff - because Grigorovitch told Kirill they make difficulties about fulfilling your orders to K. - so the quickest and best was to send N. P. to explain matters and that K. got the order from you, - its not Kashin but others in the staff and he fears Timirev may be disagreable as he is offended with the Marine of the Guard, wh. he left. - Ania slept from 8-11 and has 35.8 - so feels very weak. Sergei goes to the Headquarters soon, I hear - better not, keep him there long, as he is always a gossip, alas, and such a sharp, criticising tongue and his manners before strangers are not edifying - and then there are very unclear, unclean stories about her and bribes etc. wh. all speak about, and the artillery is mixed up into it. - just got your letter, 12 o'clock nice and early, such an endless joy to have news fr. you, you cannot think what your sweet letters are to me and how I kiss and reread them ever so often. Such a treat to get them now daily, they warm me up, as I miss my Treasure quite terribly and kissing your cushion and letter is still not quite satisfying to a hungry wify. Ah, My Angel, God bless you for your marvelous love and devotion, wh. I am not near worthy enough of. - Bless you for it, sweet One. You too, Huzy mine, know w h a t you are to me and what dephts of love my old heart is capable of - these separations kindle the fire yet more and make the great love yet more intense. - Will you be moving about to the other corps as you have less work now? Its good you let the ministers come out there to you. Oh, how I wish you could get rid of Polivanov, wh. means Gutchkov - old Ivanov in his stead, if honest Belialev too weak - all hearts in the Duma would go out to "grandfather", am sure, but perhaps you have no one ready in his place. - To-day 40 days little Sonia died. - In a few days its Tatiana's namesday; to-day the famous 9-th. - How much we have lived through together and what hard times and yet God never forsook one and kept us up - and so he will now, tho' we need great patience, faith, trust in His mercy. And your work resignation and humility must be recompensed and God I feel will do so, tho' when, we cannot guess. Yesterday eve ning I laid patiences, read, saw Isa and played with Marie. Took tea with the little ones upstairs - the three then stood still and their bed-, were in the middle of the room - Anastasia looks green with shades under her eyes, but he - not bad. My Love, I send you just one paper to do what you like with. -
You must get the old man out and calmly tell him yr. decision - now its easier as you dont agree quite and he did not have that circular printed (showing he is a bit old and tired and cant grasp, alas, everything, dear old man) - you have time to speak, and its better the other shld. have time before the Duma is called in to have sittings with the ministers and prepare himself - and Sturmer being an older man, won't offend Goremykin: and, then you give him the title of old Solsky, not of course Count (wh. is rotten), but the other thing I should calmly do it now at the Headquarters and not put it off any longer, believe me Deary. -
Well, now goodbye, Sweety mine, Husband of my heart and soul, light of my life - I hold you in my arms and clasp you tightly to me, kissing yr. sweet face, eyes, lips, neck and hands with burning tender kisses, - "I love you, I love you - it is all that I can say" you remember that song at Windsor 1894? on these evenings!! God bless you Treasure.
Ever yr. very own unto death
Wify.
Hope my flowers will arrive fresh and smelling good.

No. 193
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 10-th 1916
My very Own,
Warm & snowing again. Our Friend's Namesday. - I am so glad, that thanks to measures having been taken, all passed quietly in Moscow, Petrograd & the strikers behaved themselves. Thank goodness, one sees the difference of Beletzky & Dzhunkovsky or Obolensky. I hope you dont mind I wired about Pitirim, but he wld. so much like to see you quietly (here you never have time) and tell you all his ideas & improvements he wld. like to make. He sat near Ania 's bed yesterday, kind man. She slept only for about 4 hours this night, (so did I) coughed much, 36.8, & Becker, & tired & Gregory wanted her to come to-day, but she really has not the strength to go & it would be utter folly fr. the human point of view. - Anastasia slept well, 36,3. Alexei still sleeps. The big ones are of to Church. - I lay their room yesterday fr. 41/2-61/2. Baby was playing bezigue with Gibbs, who spent the day with him.
Eaugeni Sergeievitch turned up, his foot was better & found my heart enlarged this morning too, but I knew that so must take more Adonis 4 other drops to quieten the heartbeating. I have absolutely nothing of interest to tell you, am so sorry - but I see nobody & hear nothing. Xenia feels still very weak and is only half dressed, & up half.
How well our cosacks "worked" near Erzerum! -
Anastasia may get up in her rooms only on Tuesday, its a bore, but wise & she does look still green. -
Baby slept very well till after 10, woke only once- 36.2. -
Why, there is the sun out for our Friend, that is lovely indeed, had to be so for Him! -
Ania thanks for yr. love & sends a letter, asks me whether you will be angry, I answered she must know better than me whether you allowed her to write often
Isa lunched with us shall spend afternoon again quietly & alone till go up to the pets. - just got precious letter for wh. endless thanks, Sweetheart. You are right about Sturmer & a "thunderbolt".
Glad you will manage to see troops. Kiss & bless you without end, press you to my big, aching heart, Yearn for yr. tender kisses & caresses wh. mean so much to yr. very own little Woman yr. wife, yr.
Sunny.
Who lives by you & whose Sun and light you are, purest & best One.

No. 194.
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 11-th 1916
My own Sweetheart,
A brighter day at last & 2 degrees of frost & the dear sun shining - its a pitty you too have such "dirty weather". - Is the English General nice? I suppose he was sent to you from the army to welcome you as fieldmarshal? - But there is nothing you can give Georgie in exchange, as he does not command, & one cannot play with such nominations. -
I don't quite understand what has been going on in Montenegro - it says the King & Pietro left over Brindisi for Lyon, where he is to meet his wife & 2 youngest daughters & that Mirko remained to try & unite with the Montenegrian Servian & Albanian troops. Only now Italy has landed 70 000 men in Albania - an ugly game theirs. But if the King surrendered, how about his troops? Where are Jutta & Danilo? Why does one allow him to go to France - all most uncomprehensible to me. - Ania was up an hour on the sopha in the evening & spoke with quite a strong voice - she is already dreaming of coming here - what a strong health after all, to pick up in a second, after she thought she was so fearfully ill & miserable!-
Now don't think me mad for my wee bottle, but our Friend sent her one from his namesday feast, & we each took a sip & I poured this out for you - I believe its Madeira, I swallowed for his sake (like medecine), you do it too, please, tho' you dislike it - pour it into a glass & drink it all up for His health as we did - the lily of the valley & wee crust also are from Him for you, my Angel Sweet. One says heaps of people came to Him & He was beautiful. I wired congratulating from all of us & got this answer. "Inexpressibly overjoyed - God's light shines on you, we will fear nothing."
He likes when one is not afraid to wire to Him direct, I know He was very displeased she did not go, & it worries her, but I think He goes to her to-day.
The little ex Xmas-tree smells so deliciously strong this morning! All have good temperatures this morning.
I am sorry my letters are so dull, but I hear nothing & see nobody. - Vassilievsky telegraphed so happy to have received the brigade in wh. my regiment is, & Sergeiev enchanted to have taken the 21 reg. fr. him as, he has served there so long. - I had to take another pen, as there was no more ink in the other one. - Slept better, so far heart not enlarged this morning.. I shall go & lie for a bit on the balcony as had no air since two days. -
Thoughts & prayers never leave you, Sweetheart & I think. of you with intense love, tenderness & longing.
God bless you, 1000 kisses fr. yr. very
Own
Ania just writes that N. A returned fr. Helsingfors & that she would like to come with him to dinner, that her Dr. has allowed her to go out in a shut carriage in the evening - I find Drs queer, or she is wonderfully strong & when she wants to do a thing she always does it & somehow succeeds - Youth & strength. -
Very tenderest thanks for sweetest letter - what joy if you come end of the week home again!!

No. 195
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 12-th, 1916
My very own Treasure,
Tenderest good-wishes for our Tatiana's Namesday. She and Olga have flown off to the hospital and at 12 1/2 we have a mass in my room - sad you are not with us, sweetheart. -
I can so well realise the utter boredom of your daily walks in that tiny garden, better cross the bridge in a motor and at the end of the town walk - or near the train on the big road; you indeed need air and exercise, but soon I suppose the snow will quite melt in yr. parts. - What joy if you can really come end of the week, sweet Angel mine! - the time seems long and weary when you are not here. -
Well, Ania and N. A came to dinner, she remained only little over an hour, looks stout, rosy, tho' shades under her eyes. I had not seen either since last Thursday.
He had lots of difficulties at Helsingfors, they dont wish to give the quantity of officers needed, so now Kirill must work on at it. Rodionov arrived, and they both will come at 9, so as give Tatiana pleasure too on her Namesday. - Anastasia and Alexei are allowed to be dressed and up, but not to come down yet to-day Baby slept till nearly 10 - '36.2. Its Much better he us up, as felt well and did such awful nonsence in his bed and could not be kept quiet. -
The Germans are evacuating Pinsk? I wish one cld. "pinch" them before they have time to. -
At last 2 nights that I have slept quite nicely and the heart has not been enlarged in the morning. -
Such a surprise, both the little Ones turned up and may lunch with us and really its much better. Both look rather thin and green still. -
Now Goodbye Sweetheart, Beloved. God bless you, kiss you ever so tenderly and fondly, and remain, Nicky mine, yr. very own old
Wify.
P. S. just received yr. sweet letter, thanks 1000 times my very very own Beloved, cover you with burning kisses. Oh how dull to sit with the old man!!! Wish it were me, wld. not Boyxy like lady? She wanted him frantically.

No. 196
Tsarskoie-Selo, Jan. 13-th. 1916
My own Sweetheart,
Grey, dull weather, 2 of warmth again & very windy. - Lay out on the balkony yesterday for half an hour. The little ones are so happy to be able to come down again, but look pale.
To-day the two eldest lunch at Anitchkov, have committees, receipt of donations & tea at Xenias. It seems Motherdear was not quite well, & so was lonely & could only go to Xenia once.
It was cosy having N. P. & V. N. yesterday from 9 1/4 - 11-50 - they talked much about there. N. P. lets him live in his appartments as nearer to the escort. He & Kirill leave Saturday evening, I believe. There is still masses to be done people are so obstinate & wont do things - he goes to Grigorovitch this morning. -
How dull, poor Angel, to sit near the old man at the cinema why, its to run up the walls. I am glad the new English general is nice.. What are the stories going on about the Montenegrians? As tho' he had sold his country to the Austrians, therefore one wld, not receive him in Rome nor in Paris - or is this all gossip - he is capable of anything for money's sake & his personal profit, tho' he loved his country I thought - in any case I understand nothing.
I want to go in the little sledge in the garden, tho' strong wind, with Marie, & enter into Znamenia for the first time in 1916, & place candies there & pray for my own sweet Lovebird. - Nice Zina, who likes our Friend sat for an hour with me yesterday.
Now goodbye my Sunshine, my one & all. I bless you & cover yr. beloved face with ever such tender kisses.
Yr, very own little
Wify,
Fancy Raftopolo being at Moghilev, he wrote to Ania he was sent there from the regiment.

No. 197
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 14-th 1916
My very own Lovebird,
Very windy, mild, sun shone a little. Feel rotten as had such pains in my tommy in the night and such faintness, even rang for Madeleine to fill up my hotwaterbottle and give me opium. Probably it comes from Adonis. But feel so weak to-day. - Olga Evgenievna lunches and then I receive Yagmin min who came to hurry his wife, at last. -
How nice that at Raftopolo lunched with you - Silalev will have been delighted - it was the boy's sisters namesday too on the 12-th. To-day is Williams birthday! There now its snowing. I wonder whether this is my last letter you return on Saturday or not ?
The Children found Motherdear rather thin, they lunched with her upstairs - then after their committees they took tea at Xenias, who neither looks flouroushing. - Yr. friend Plevitskaya brought Olga money fr. the concert she had given. - She had sung to Olga at Kiev where by chance Mahalov ("Rosotchka") was, and he accompanied her and Rodionov came with her here. Ania read some stories out of yr. book to us, about Children, whilst we were laying patiences - she has brought a new book for you for yr. return. -- Cannot write any more, feel too idiotic. -
Goodbye my Sweetheart, God bless and protect you now and ever and help you in all the difficult moments of your life. -
I cover you with tenderly caressing, yearning kisses, and remain, precious One, yr. very own fondly loving old wife.
Sunny.

No. 198
Tsarskoie Selo, Jan. 15-th. 1916
Sweetheart,
Only a few lines as feel very rotten. Slept well, but head aches still, difficult to keep eyes open, feel so weak, fievrish, nasty, 37.1, but will probably rise, heart enlarged - as tho' I were going to have influenza, so Botkin said I was to remain all day in bed. Yesterday also felt nasty and cretinised.
Olga Evgenievna the. same as always, begged to send her compliments. Yagmin has news the regiment is well into Persia now. Ania and N. P. dined - I felt too rotten to fully enjoy them - Sunny day, 6 of warmth in the sun. - Such happiness you come Sunday, but want to be well by then. Hope good weather - all will go off well, see dear Cosacks. - How was it a beastly Zeppelin came as far as Rezhitsa? Children well, tho' Olga was sick in the night without any reason. Beloved, I cant write any more, eyes ache and are so heavy.
Poor Css. Worontzov she will miss her dear old husband - but for him it must be a relief. How is Feodorov?
Blessings and kisses without end and great longing to have you back again, Lovebird, sweetest of Sweets - Press you tenderly to my heart -
Ever yr. own old wify
Alix.
You will get this no doubt at Orsha.

No. 199
Tsarskoie-Selo, Jan. 16-th. 1916
My Own,
I hear that a messenger leaves even to-day still to worry you - so write a few lines. Bright sunshine, calm & 2 of frost.
Went to sleep after 3, feel a bit better to-day, but still a strange feeling, in my inside & I keep a hotwater bottle on my tommy - but heart by chance this morning not enlarged. -
I got up for dinner yesterday & lay on the sopha till 11 - laying patiences as usual, as less tiring than working. -
Sandro is with her mother, Ira & Maia here in town. - Such consolation you return to-morrow, lovebird. Yr. dear letter made me so happy. - But how strange Chelnokov having been with you - can imagine that he felt small & not sure of himself - he ought to have stood all the time, doublefaced man! -
Fancy Voyeikov also having fallen ill - you have had to wander from one to the other. What a dull letter! Excuse my not coming to the station, but have not the strength to stand about there. -
Kiss & bless you my own Love & am more than happy to clasp you soon to my breast again.
Ever yr. very own old Wify

No. 200
Tsarskoie-Selo, Jan. 28-th 1916
My very own beloved Sweetheart
Once more the train is carrying my Treasure away, but I hope not for long - I know I ought not to say this, & for an old married woman it may seem ridiculous - but I cannot help it. - With the years love increases & the time without your sweet presence is hard to bear. When I could be about & nurse the wounded it was more bearable. For you its worse, my Own. I am glad you see troops already to-morrow, that will be refreshing & to all a joy, I hope you will have the same sunshine as there is here to-day. - It was so nice you read to us & I hear your dear voice now always! And your tender caresses, oh how deeply I thank you for them - they warmed me up & were such a consolation; when the heart is heavy with care & anxieties, every tenderness gives one force and intense happiness. Oh, could but our children be equally blessed in their married lives - the idea of Boris is too unsympathetic & the child would, I feel convinced, never agree to marry him & I should perfectly well understand her. Only never let Miechen guess other thoughts have filled the 'child's head & heart - those are a young girls holy secrets wh. other must not know of, it would terribly hurt Olga, who is so susceptible. That conversation has made me feel far from cheery, & as it is I feel very low at yr. going & my old heart cramps itself in pain - cannot get accustomed to our separations. - Here, Baby's note will amuse you.
The lilies of the valley are to brighten up yr. writing table. You will talk seriously to Kedrov, wont you - beecause the joy & honour of this journey comes almost like a recompense & so as to cover the reprimand he so rightly deserved.
Why you saved him being judged again &, tho' a nice man, needs to be held in hand, the Admiral ought never to be so familiar with him - he is terribly ambitious. But you take him for short, I suppose. - What rejoicings there will be, when you get rid of Bontch Bruievitch (can't spell his name) - but he ought to be made to understand first the wrong he has done & wh. falls upon you - you are too kind, my sunny Angel, be firmer & when you punish, don't forgive at once & give good places - one does not fear you enough - show yr. power, one profits of yr. marvelous kindness & gentleness. - Sad I cannot take you to the station, but I am not up to it, the heart being enlarged & the "engineer-mechanic" came. My Own, my light, my love, sleep well & peacefully, feel my tender arms encircling you, & your dear sweet head rest it in thoughts upon my breast, (not upon the high cushion you dislike). -
Goodbye, my Treasure, my Husband, Sunshine beloved, God bless & keep you, holy Angels guard you & the force of my, intense love. - Oh my Boy, how I love you! Words cannot express it, but you can read it in my eyes.
Ever yr. very own old
Wify.
Oh, the lonely night!

No. 201
Tsarkoie Selo, Jan. 29th, 1916
My own Treasure love,
I thank you very, very fondly for yr. sweetest letter You left me as a consolation - over & over again I have reread it, & in the night when I could not sleep & my eyes ached fr. crying. - We went to bed at 2 l/2 - bad night & head aches this morning. Have just finished heaps of papers from Rostovtzev.
It is gently snowing, - 20 of frost. Ania peeped in a second on her way to town & she begged me yet again to thank you fr. the depths of her heart for the money. She telephoned it to our Friend & He said it would bring you blessings & that she is to put it aside in the bank to be a fund she must collect for building the home for the cripples.- I shall see whether we cannot give her a bit of ground it would be good if it were not far from the Invalid House, as then they could profit of our bathhouse & shops.
I wonder whether you will begin the French book, you will see how exciting it is - How did my Lovebird sleep? How I miss my Sunshine!! Do think about Ivanov it would indeed be a splendid change - & clean beginning for 1916 - Polianov needs no place to bother you about Stchbatc they can replace Ivanov & thcn somebody energetic in his place What a bore old Ruzsky is not yet well enough. -
How glad I am that you have got Sturmer now to rest upon who you know will try & hold all the ministers together.
Now I must be getting up for luncheon. Later Benkendorf wishes to see me & Mme Volzhaninova from the Crimea.
The Children want to see Rodionov to-morrow evening as he wishes to go tou our Church for service.
Sweetest of Sweets, then now goodbye & God bless and protect you. I cover your beloved face with very tenderst kisses, & remain
Ever yr. own wify
Alix
Feodorov slept quite well, coughs less, 37.
Mme Aizi feels better, 36.4, tell this to Kira, who does not think about his mother. - Have a quiet talk with Mordyinov aboout Misha's stor & then about Olga & ask what sort of a man her N. A. is.
No. 202
Tsarskoie-Selo, Jan. 30-th 1916
My Own Sweetheart,
We were so happy to get yr. telegram during tea, and to know that all went off so well - how nice that you had a guard of honour of your "Cabardintzyx" at the station. - There must have been heavy fighting as Baby's train brings 15 wounded officers and over 300 men from Kalkuny - Drisst that is where Tatiana's regiment is and where you will be, it seems to me.
All looks so white to-day, a good deal of snow fell yesterday - 3 degrees of frost - Had a bad, restless night, went early to bed - head ached and continues to, heart the same. - I saw Mme Volzhaninova fr. the Crimea (wine-makers) you remember her I am sure, she met me on the pier with flowers, lunched at Livadia and sold at the bazaars. You made acquaintance with her old mother (over 90) at the opening of a childrens' sanatorium beyond Massandra - Mme Zheltukhin born Ilovalskaya, daugther of the hero of Bornodino. Her property near Bleloyezh was completely destroyed and she had notime to save anything and she possessed many historical things. You are the 5th Emperor she has seen.
Our Friend is very happy that you see the troops now again, he is quiet about everything, only anxious Ivanov should be named, as his presence in the Duma can be of much help.
I have again several officers waiting to be received - that continues the whole time - and I do feel so tired. Wish I could at last get to Church again not once in the month of Jan. - and I long to go and place my candles there. Old Professor Pavlov died - he got poisoning of the blood, after an operation he had performed, I think. -
Lovy sweet, I miss you awfully, The evenings are dull - A. is aggravated we all lay patiences, but it rests the eyes after much working and to sit with folded hands is awful. She likes reading aloud, but gabbles awfully but one cannot sit and talk all day, and I have nothing to speak of - I am weary. Dear Sweetheart, I am not boasting, but nobody loves you so intensely as old sunny - you are her life, her 0wn!
God bless you Precious one, I cover you with tender, passionate kisses and long to have you back into my arms again.
Ever, Nicky mine yr. very own old girly
Wify

No. 203
Tsarskoie-Selo, Jan. 31st
My own sweet Treasure,
Tatiana was delighted that you saw her regiment and found it in order. I had always hoped, to go about more, in sanitary trains too, and to have the chance of seeing at least one of my regiments. - Rodianoy was in Church yesterday evening, dined with Ania and then came to us. He leaves to-morrow. Again they stand in a new village, he said, only 8 Versts fr. Volotchisk and all the officers together in a landlord's estate - they have changed already four or five times. He showed us some groups he had made and of some of them on horseback - Miassoyedov's horse looks quite antidiluvian.. -
A grey morning, 5 degrees. Got to sleep late, but then slept alright, head scarcely aches, but heart and eyes do, and I am writing in specks, so as to tire them less. I saw one of my Crimeans yesterday - now they all deeply regret that Drobiazgin leaves them - all stories had finished, and now they appreciated him and much regret the change. - We receive military cadets to - day who will be promoted to-morrow I believe, and then leave. Then Varnava, Archbishop Seraphim, - Kuptsov (Erivanets) who was here on leave and wants to see me before returning to the regiment, then Alek!! what can he want? probably to talk about Gagri, but then I shall have to tell him about Skalon. At 6 comes Captain of the I-st rank Schultz (such a purely German name, alas), who leaves for England - suppose its the one with the long beard who commanded the "Africa", if I don't invent, occupies himself with hypnotism, and his sister was nurse in my hospital during the Japanese war and died later at Kronstadt.
One of the wounded I received yesterday, gave me a charming collection of photos, he had taken at Eupatoria - some lie out taking sunbaths, others covered in mud, others in baths, having douches, being electrified - quite amusing. Yesterday was the silver Wedding of the Putiatins. I am trying to give you all the news I can, tho' its not interesting alas.-
Sweetheart, I wonder whether you get my letters on the way, probably they will await you at some big station - I wish I were in their place and could feel your sweet lips upon mine and could gaze into your beloved eyes. Sorely do I miss my own Sweetheart and his tender kisses, wh. mean so much to me. - Well, Lovy, I will end now. Goodbye and God bless you now and evermore..
Endless kisses fr. yr. very own old
Sunny.

RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
This online edition was produced due to the gracious contributions of Nancy Batey, Julie Moscinski, Andrea Cotton, Dominic Albanese, Sam Robinson - and one sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous.
To read the letters of the Tsar to the Tsaritsa click here.
Comments on this website should be directed to Bob Atchison

Website by Pallasart - Austin Web Design