Tsarskoie Selo, October 1-st 1915
My own Beloved,
You will read these lines when the train has already carried you from us. This time you can part with a quieter heart, things, God blessed, are going better - exteriorly as interiorly our Friend is here to bless your journey. The holy feast of Pokrov may it shed its blessings upon our troops and bring us victories and the holy Virgin spread her mantle over your whole country. -
Its always. the same pain to see you leave & now Baby too for the first time in his life, its not easy, its awfully hard. But for you I rejoice, at least you wont be quite alone & wont agoo wee one be proud to travel with you without any of us women near him. Quite a big boy. I am sure the troops will rejoice, when the news reaches them that he is with you - our officers in the hospital were enchanted. If you see troops beyond Pskov, please, take him also in the motor, - awfully much hope you can see some no matter how few, but it will already create joy & contentement. Wire a word from Pskov about your plans, so that I can follow you in thoughts & prayers.
Lovy my Soul! Oh how hard it is to let you go each time, tho' now I have got the hope to see you soon, but it will make you sad as I come to fetch Alexei - but not before 10 days, I suppose. -
Its so lonely without Your caresses wh. mean everything to me - ah how me loves oo, "better better every day, with unending true, devotion, deeper than I can say". But these days have been awfully tiring for you & the last evening we could not even spend quietly together - its sad. - See that Tiny does not tire himself on the stairs, I regret that he does not sleep near you in the train - but at Moghilew it will be cosy - it is not neccesary - even, t o o touching & sweet. I hope you will like my photo of Baby in the frame. Derevenko has got our presents for Baby - the tipe writing mashene he gets here & a big game when he returns - a bag in train. You will give him some writing paper & a silver bowl to have near his bed when he eats fruits in the evening, instead of a china saucer. - Ask him from time to time whether he says his prayers properly, please Deary. - Sweet One, I love you & wish I could never be parted from you & share everything with you. - Oh the joy it was having you here, my Sunshine, I shall feed on the remembrances. - Sleep well huzy, wify is ever near you, with & in you. When you remember the picture books think of old wify for ever & ever.
God bless you & protect you, guard & guide you. Ever Your very own old
I bless you. I kiss & caress every tenderly beloved place & gaze into your deep, sweet eyes wh. long ago conquered me completely,
Love ever grows. -
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 1-st 1915
Sweet precious One,
It seems a messenger leaves this evening, so I profit to send you a word. Well there we are again separated - but I hope it will be easier: for you whilst Sunbeam is near you he will bring life into your house & cheer you up. How happy he was to go, with what excitement he has been awaiting this great moment to travel with you alone. I was afraid he might be sad, as when we left for the south to meet you in Dec. he cried at the station, but no, he was happy. Tatiana & I felt very hard to be brave - you dont know what it is to be without you & the wee one. I just looked at my little book & saw with despair that I shall ... the 10-th ... to travel & inspect hospitals the two first days I really cant, as otherwise shall get again one of my raging headaches - is it not too stupid ! -
We drove this afternoon to Pavlovsk - the air was very autumnal - then we went into Znamenia & placed candles & I prayed hard for my darlings. Hereafter Ania read to me. After tea I saw Isa & then I went to the poor boy he has changed a good deal since yesterday. I stroked his head a while & then he woke up - I said you & Alexei sent messages wh. delighted him & he thanked so much - then went to sleep again - that was the first time he had spoken to-day. My consolation when I feel very down & wretched is to go to the very ill & try & bring them a ray of light & love - so much suffering one has to go through in this year, it wears one out.
So Kira went with you, thats good & just - may he only not be stupid & sleep. Do so hope you can manage to see some troops to-morrow. Sweet Huzy mine, I kiss & bless you without end & long for your caresses - the heart is so heavy. God be with you & help you evermore. Very tenderest, fondest kisses, sweet Beloved, fr. yr. very own
Sleep well, dream of old Sunny.
I hope Paul will be allright & not fidgety. Did the little Admiral answer you?
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 2-th 1915
My own beloved Sweetheart,
Goodmorning my precious ones, how did you sleep, I wonder! I did not very well its always so when you are away, Lovy mine. So strange to read in the papers, that you & Baby have left for the front. I am sure you felt cosy sitting & playing with Baby, not this perpetual loneliness; for N. P. I too am glad, as he feels lonely there often, none are such particular friends, tho' he likes most of them & they get on splendidly but he misses us all - & now Alexei being there, it will warm him up & he will feel you nearer to him too. Mr. Gillard will enjoy all & he can speak with the French.
You did have such hard work here, that I am glad it is over now, more or less, & you see the troops to-day!
Oh, how pleased I am, the heart of a soldier's daughter & soldier's wife rejoices for you - & I wish I were with you to see the faces of those brave fellows when they see for whom & with whom they go out to fight. I hope you can take Alexei with you. - The impression will remain for his wole life & theirs.
Oh how I miss you both! The hour for his prayer, I must say I broke down, so hurried off into my room & said all his prayers in case he should forget to say them. - Please, ask him whether he remembers them daily. - What it will be to you when I fetch him! You must go off too somewhere, not to remain alone. - It seems to me as the' you were already gone ages ago, such yearning after you - I miss you, my own Angel, more than I can say. - I went to A. this morning & took her to Znamenia & the big Palaces fr. whence she left for town, & I went to the poor boy - he had recognised nobody & not been able to speak, but me he did at once & even spoke a little. From there I went to our hospital. Two new officers have come. The one poor fellow has the ball or splinter in his eye - the other deep in his lungs & a fragment probably in the stomach - he has such a strong internal hemorrhage wh, has completely pushed his heart to the right side so that one clearly sees it beat, hear his right niple. Its a very serious case, & probably he must be operated to-morrow - his pulse is 140 & he is awfully weak, the eyeballs so yellow, the stomach blown up - -it will be an anguishing operation. -- After luncheon we received 4 new Alexandrovisi just promoted going off to the war - 2 Elisavetgradtsi & 4 Vosnesentsi? - 4 wounded & Arseniev's son. Then we drove, eat a pear & apple - & went to the cemetry to have a look at our wee temporary Church for our dead heroes. From there to the big Palace to a Te Deum before the Image of the Virgin, wh. I had told them to bring fr. Znamenia it passed through all the wards - it was nice. -
After tea I saw Russin & gave him letters for Victoria & Toria - then Ressin about our journey - only what date to settle, because of Bekker, wh. spoils everything. - Got your telegram at 5 1/2 & we all enjoyed it, thank God you saw the troops, but you do not mention whether - Tiny accompanied you.. - Wont you let the soldiers, wh. stand now at Moghilev, show you some exercises & then they can see Baby. His having gone to the army will also bring its blessing our Friend told Ania; even agoo wee one helps. He is furious with the way people go on in Moscou. - There, the Pss. of the Palace has already sent her first perfumed letter so I forward it to you. Personally I think she ought not to ask for him - what wld. it look like, both Paul's sons living lazily, comfortably at the Headquarters, whilst their comrades shed their blood as heroes.
I shall send you the boy's pretty verses to-morrow. If I were you, I should tell Paul about this letter, even show it to him, & explain that its too early to call him back - its bad enough one. son not being out at the front & it would harm the boy in the regiment, I assure you; - after a bit of service he can be perhaps given a place as courier of one of the Generals, but not yet, I find., I understand her Mother's heart bleeding - but she must not spoil the boy's career - dont speak to Dmitri about it. - I must now write to Miechen & Aunt Olga, so to speak to invite them to the consecration of our microscopic Church - officially I cant, as the Church is too small, but if I don't, Miechen is sure to be offended. The Pavlovsk family (ladies) I must then too, as their soldiers are buried on our ground. -
Goodbye my Love, sweetest One, Beloved- I bless & kiss you with out end.
Ever yr. very own old
Khvostov has asked to see me after the 5-th.
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 3-rd 1915
My own beloved Darling,
A gloriously bright, sunny day - 2 degr. of frost in the night. What a pitty, nothing is written in the papers about your having seen the troops - I hope it will appear to-morrow. It is necessary to print all such things, without mentioning of course what troops you saw. - Am eagerly awaiting details how it all was.
So silly, in Moscou they want to give Samaria an address when he returns fr. the country - it seems that horror Vostokuv has sent him a telegram in the name of his two "flocks", Moscou & Kolomna - so the dear little Makari wrote to the Consistory to insist upon a copy of Vostokov's telegram to Samaria & to know what gave him the right to forward such a telegr. - how good, if the little Metropolitan can get rid of Vostokov, its high time, he does endless harm & its he who leads Samaria. Moscou is in a rotten state, but God grant nothing at all will be - but they need feeling yr. displeasure. - Sweetheart, me misses you very, very much, I want your kisses, I want to hear your dear voice & gaze into your eyes. -
Thanks ever so much for yr. telegram - well Baby must have been pleased that he was present at the review. How cosy yr. beds must be in the same room. And a nice drive too. - I always give over by telephone all you write to Vladimir Nikolaievitch.
This morning I went in to the little Boy - he is fast sinking & the quiet end may come this evening. - I spoke with his poor mother & she was so brave & understood all so rightly.
Then we worked in the hospital & Vladimir Nikolaievitch made an injection to the new officer - probably to-morrow will be the operation.
Pss. Gedroitz has 39 & feels so ill - eresypelis in the head one fears, so she begged Derevenko to replace her for serious operations. Nastinka lunched, then I received generals Prince Tumanov, Pavlov, Benkendorf, Isa. The inauguration of the WinterPalace hospital can only be on the 10-th as the red cross has not brought the beds etc. yet - our part is done - so you see I better keep quiet after that ceremony (& Bekker no doubt) & the 11 & 12 - if so, then I would be at Moghilev 15-th morning at 9 if that suits you? Thats a Thursday, just 2 weeks fr. the day you left. You let me know. That means I am the 13-th at Tver, 14-th other places nearing you, - A lovely bright moon, its 10 minutes past 5 & becoming rather dark, we took tea after a drive to Pavlovsk, so cold - the little ones are trying on & the big ones have gone to clean the instruments in our hospital. At 6 1/2 we go to the evening service in our new little Church.
In the evening we see our Friend at Ania's to bid goodbye. He begs you very much to send a telegram to the King of Servia, as he is very anxious that Bulgaria will finish them off - so I enclose the paper again for you to use it for yr. telegram - the sense in yr. words & shorter of course reminding them of their Saints & so on. - Make Baby show you Peter Vassilievitch envelope , its sweet. I shall also address my letter separatly to him, he will feel prouder. Derevenko has got our presents for him & can arrange them in the bedroom before your dinner. - Wonder, how you will feast the Convoy.
Now I must end my letter, Sweetheart. God bless & protect you & the holy Virgin guard you from all harm. Every goodwish for our sweet Sunbeam's Namesday.
I kiss you without end & hold you tightly clasped to my old heart wh. yearns for you ever, Nicky sweet, yr. very own wify
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct- 4-th 1915,
My own beloved Darling,
With all my heart I congratulate you with our sweet Child's Namesday - - He spends it quite like a little military man. I read the telegram our Friend sends him, its so pretty. You are in Church this evening, but I was feeling too tired, so went into Znamenia just now to place candles for my darling instead. - A glorious sunny day, zero in the morning, 3 at night. At 10 we went off to the Consecration of the dear little Church last nights se rvice was also very pretty - many sisters in their white headdress give such a picturesque aspect. Aunt Olga & we both were also as sisters, as its for our poor wounded, dead we pray for there. Miechen & Mavra & Princess Palei & many others were there. About 200 men of the convalescent companys stood round the church, so they saw the procession with the cross. - At 1 went to our hospital & Vladimir Nikolaievitch performed the operation wh. went off well - then we had dressings after wh. I went to see poor Princess Gedroitz. She had 40-5. temp., took Communion in the evening & felt calmer later - spoke about death & gave all her orders. To-day she suffers less, but its very serious still as descending towards the ear - eresypeles. But our Friend promised to pray for her. - Then we fetched Ania & drove to Pavlovsk, everything looked lovely, & to the cemetry as I wanted to put flowers on poor Orlov's grave - 7 years that he is dead !
After tea fr. Znamenia to the big palace to the poor boy. He recognised me, extraordinary, that he is still alive, poor child. Ania & Lili Den come to dinner. Yesterday we saw Gregory at Ania's - nice - Zina. was there too - he spoke so well. He begged me to tell you, that it is not at all clear about the stamp money, the simple poeple cannot understand, we have enough coins & this may create disagreablinesses - I think me wants to tell the tail to speak to Bark about it. - One, of course, did not accept his wire to Baby, so I send it you to read to the tiny one, perhaps you will wire to me to thank. -
How do you find the news? I was so happy to get your telegram, Baby's & Mr. G.'s letters to-day - they warmed me up & I cld. picture all to myself.. - So strange not to be with him on his Namesday. - His letter was sweet - I also write every day - probably with many faults too. - The big girls go in the evening to clean instruments. Its quite funny to have "for the time being" no affairs to write about, nor to bore you with. - Your bedroom is cosy? Did he sleep quietly & the creaking boards not disturb him? - Oh, I miss you both awfully. - Now goodbye my love, God bless you, protect you. I cover you with kisses my own Beloved, & remain yr. fondly loving very own
Sweety, I do not think it right that Zamoisky's wife is going to take appartments at the Headquarters. It was known her goings an at Varsovie with Boris, in the train, at the Headquarters & now in Petrograd - it will throw a bad light on the Headquarters. Fred. admires her so wont disapprove, but please, tell Zamoisky its better no ladies come to settle down at the Headquarters. Therefore I do not either. Ania kisses yr. hand & congratulates you with Alexei.
Tsarskoie Seto, 5-th Oct. 1915
My own Sweetheart,
Once more many happy returns of this dear day - God bless our precious Child in health & happiness. I am so glad that one at last printed that you had seen troop and what you said - otherwise none out at the front would be any the wiser, as before. - And every bit of your movements to the troops, when known, will yet more raise their spirits & all will hope for the same luck.
Glorious, sunny, cold morning.
We went to Church at 10, then I changed & we worked at the hospital till 10 m. to 2. After luncheon I drove with the girls.
Miechen came to tea, was nice & cosy, is so delighted that Plotho has been set free - now he gets transported to Siberia, but its quite different. - She goes with her train now, Ducky returned with a terrible cough - so she wishes to go, as its not far nor long well, lets hope no bombs will be thrown upon it. - We have just returned fr. a funeral service in the new Church -the little boy in the big palace died peacefully this night & in Maria's & Anastasia's hospital one died too - so both coffins stood there - I am so glad we have got that little Church there. - I received still several officers & feel now mighty tired, so excuse a short letter. - Lili Den was very handsome yesterday evening & dear.
]How sweet that you say prayers with Baby, he wrote it to me, the treasure his letters are delightful. - I am so grateful, that you told Grigorovitch to send me every evening the papers - I eagerly read & then return them after having sealed them myself. Sweetheart, beloved Treasure, I wish I had wings so as to fly over to you & see how you both sleep in wee bedybys - & would love to tuck you up & cover you both with kisses very "not necessary".
Ever, my Treasure, yr. very own, tenderly loving old
God bless & protect you.
]At night 2 & 3 degr. of frost, nevertheless I sleep with the little window open. - Its so empty - miss you both terribly.
How does Paul get on? -
You may like to read Putiatin's letter, so I send it to you. -
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 6-th 1915
My own beloved Treasure,
A cold foggy morning. Have read through the papers, thank God, the news continues being good. I was glad to see, that one already speaks of changing the stamp money, thats good. - P-ss Gedroitz is happily better, the temperature less high. -
We have just returned from town. The school is really charming - 4 stories high so I was carried up, the lift not being ready; a part of the necessary things are at Archangelsk. - Really the girls have made wonderful progress.
I went through all their work-rooms weaving, carpets, embroidery, paintings, where they prepare the dyes and dye the silk threads and stuffs they make out of blackberry. - Our priest officiated the Te Deum. Bark, Khvostov, Volzhin and Krivoshein etc. were there, the later offered us 24,000 Rubles for keeping up the school one year. Then we took tea at Elagin, - she looks well and thinks of going for a tiny visit to Kiev to see Olga whilst Xenia is away, wh. I find an excellent idea. - In the morning, I had much to do in the hospital. - Sweety, why did Dzhunkovsky receive the "Preobrasentsi" and "Semenovtsi", -too much honour after his vile behaviour-it spoils the effect of the punishment - he ought to have got army regiments. He has been continuing horrors against our F r i e n d now amongst the nobility - the tail brings me the proofs to-morrow - ah no, thats far too kind already to have given him such a splendid nomination - can imagine the filth he will spread in those two regiments and all will believe him. - I am sending you a very fat letter from the Cow, the lovesick creature could not wait any longer, she must pour out her love otherwise she bursts. My back aches and I feel very tired and long for my own sweet One. One keeps up alright, but there are moments when it is very difficult. - When sanitary trains pass do you sometimes have a look to them ? Have you gone over the house, where all the small people of your staff work, take Baby with you and that will be a thanks to them for their hard work and serve as an encouragement; have the different officers of yr. staff been invited to lunch on Sundays? - Has the English Admiral arrived yet? - There is so much to do, people to see etc. that I feel mighty tired and fill myself with medicins. How is your health my Beloved? - Are no troops for you to see near Orsha? or Vitebsk? An afternoon you might give up to that? You think me a bore but I long for you to see more troops and I am sure young soldiers pass by on their way to fill up regiments - they might March pass you at the station and they will be happy. You know our people often have the false idea of not telling you, as it might prevent your habitual drive as tho' one could not often combine all quite well. --What does Paul do of an evening? And what have you settled about Dmitri? - Oh Deary, how I long for you yearn after you both its horrible how I miss you. But I am sure, all seems different now the little man is with you. Go and have the regiment drill before you and let Baby see it too it will be a nice remembrance for you both my sunshine and sunbeam The letter must leave. - Good bye my very own Huzy heart of my heart, soul of my life - I clasp you tight in my arms and kiss you with ever such great tenderness, gentleness and devotion. God bless and protect you and keep you from all harm. A thousand kisses fr. yr. own old
Tsarskoie Solo, Oct. 7-th 1915
My very Own,
Sweetest Darling, I try to picture to myself how you sat answering congratulations. I also got from some of Baby's regiments (I collect his regimental ones for him during the war) & I answered that he was at the Headquarters, as I was sure it would rejoice their hearts to know Father and Son together. - Since yesterday evening it gently snows, but scarcely any remains lying - does seem so early already to have real winter beginning.
Lovy Dear, I send you two stamps (money) fr. our Friend, to show you , but already one of them is false. People are very discontented - such wee papers flie away, in the darkness they cheat the cabmen & its not a good thing - he entreats you to have it stopped at once. - That rotten Bulgaria, now we shall have them turning against us from the south, or do you think they will only turn against Servia & then Greece - its vile. Did you wire to old King Peter, our Friend wanted it so much.
Oh my love, its 20 m. to 8 & I am absolutely cretinised have heaps to say & don't know how to begin. - 101/2-121/2 operation, & gips being put on - 12 - 1 Krivoshein we only spoke about the home manufactures committee how to arrange it, whom to invite etc. Girls came late to lunch, had to choose cloaks for them, received officers --Bark for 1/2 hour, then to big palace. Then got yr. precious letter for wh. I thank you without end, you sweet One - I loved to get it & have reread it & kissed it & Tiny's too. - Our Friend is rather anxious about Riga, are you too? -
I spoke to Bark about the stamps - he also found the stamps wrong, wants to get the Japanese to make coins for us - & then to have the paper money, instead of wee stamps, like the Italian lire, wh. is then really papermoney. -
He was, very interesting. Then Mme Zizi, then young Lady Sibyl de Grey, who has come to arrange the English Hospital & Malcolm (whom I knew before, was at Mossy's Wedding, our Coronation as a fair curly young man in a kilt), both remained 20 minutes each.
Then Khvostov till this minute & my head buzzes from everything.
As remplacant of Dzhunkovsky for the Gendarmes he thought Tatistchev (Zizi',s son in law) might do, discrete & a real gentleman - only then he ought to wear a uniform - you gave Obolensky one again & Kurlov & Prince Obolensky - general governor of Finland -he asked me to tell you this beforehand so as that you should think whether it would suit you. He wishes to ask to be received next week by you & he told me the different questions he will touch.
To-morrow I'll try & write more, when can calmly shape all into words am too idiotical this evening. - Our Friend was very contented with yr. decree about Bulgaria, found it well worded.
I must then end now. Thanks again over & over for yr. s wee t e s t letter, beloved Angel. I can see you & the wee one in the morning & be talking to
you whilst you half sleep. Bad Boy wrote today: Papa made smells much
and long this morning. Too noughty!
Oh my Angels how I love you - but you will miss him shockingly later.
Just got your telegram. What news Deary, -I long to have some, it seems very difficult again, does it not?
Goodbye my Sun, I cover you with fond kisses. Bless you my Love.
Ever yr very own old
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 8-th 1915
My very own Love,
A grey and dreary morning. You too have cold weather, I see, its sad, as winter is so endless. - I am glad tiny behaves well, but I hope his presence does not prevent you from seeing troops or anything like that. Am I a bore, always mentioning that? Only I have such a longing you should go about & see more & be seen. Do not reserve regiments stand at Vitebsk, or are only the horses kept there? Baby writes such amusing letters & everything that passes through his head. - Does he speak with the foreigners, or has he not the courage? - I am glad his little lamp does not keep you from sleeping. Well, about the Tail. I spoke to him concerning flour, sugar, wh.. are scarcely & butter, wh. is lacking now in Petrograd when cars full are sticking in Siberia. He says its Rukhlov this all concerns, he has to see & give the order to let the waggons pass. Instead of all these necessary products, waggons with flowers & fruit pass wh. really is a shame. The dear man is old he ought to have gone himself to inspect all & set things working properly its really a crying shame, & one feels humiliated before the strangers that such disorder should exist. Could you not choose somebody & send him to revise it all & oblige those to work properly out there at the places where the waggons stand & the things rot. Khvostov mentioned Gurko as a man to send and inspect as he is very energetic & quick about all - but do you like such a type ? Its true he was unjustly treated by Stolypin but some energetic means ought to be taken. - I wrote to you about Tatistchev for the gendarmes only I forgot to tell Khvoslov that lie is terribly against our Friend, so he ought to speak to him upon that subject first, I think. - Fancy, how disgusting, the warministery has its own detective work to look out for spies, and now they spie upon Khvostov & have found out where he goes & whom he sees & the poor man is very much upset by it. He cannot make a row, as he found it out through a clerk ( ?), I think, who told him all about it, his Uncle also had heard things wh. came from the side of Polivanov, - the latter continues being Gutchkov's friend & therefore they can harm Khvostov. One must have a firm watch over Polivanov. - Bark also dislikes him & gave him a smacking answer the other day. But perhaps you are satisfied with Polivanov's work, for the war. In any case when you find he needs changing, there is Beliaiev his aide, whom everybody praises as such a clever, thorough worker and real gentleman & utterly devoted to you. - All the papers against our Friend, kept in the ministery of the Interior, Dzhunkovskyy took copies of (he had no right to) & showed them right & left at Moscou amongst the nobility - after he was changed. - Once more Paul's wife repeated to Ania that Dzhunkovsky gave his word that you had given him in winter the order to have Gregory severely judged - he said it to Paul & his wife & repeated it to Dmitri & many others in town. I call that dishonesty, unloyalty to the higest extreme & a man who deserves no recompenses or high nominations. Such a man will continue unscrupilously doing harm & speaking against our Friend in the regiments. Gregory says he can never bring luck in his work, the same as Nikolasha, as they went against him, - against you. - What a delightful surprise, your dear letter was brought me so early - I thank you for it over & over again my Sweetheart. That is right, Dear, that you have at once ordered those 3 generals who were at fault, to be changed; such measures will be lessons to the rest & they will pay more attention to their actions. I wonder who the 3 are.
But God grant Riga wont be taken, they have enough.
What an idiot I was to wrongly number your letters, please correct the fault. Tiny does love digging & working as he is so strong, & forgets that he must be careful - only watch he should now not use it - wet weather can make it ache more. I am glad he is so little shy, that is a great thing. - I am not going to the hospital this morning & shall only get up for luncheon, because my back continues aching & I feel very tired, but must still go to town, its necessary, as people are so very unfriendly & misjudge one - then one must just show oneself, tho' its tiring.- I am astonished the little Admiral did not answer yr. letter - I think a change of air will do him & his wife good; A. went to see them, as I begged her to - at first he was stiff - he had not seen her for a year & never enquired after her when she had the accident, but afterwards he got alright, talked a lot about the Headquarters & the good change since you are at the head.
Well, I am tired. In town I received the Baroness Uxcull of the Kaufmans hospital -- it is the first time I saw her & we had a charming talk. She
is very fond of our Friend. Then I went with the 2 little ones to Css.
Hendrikov, whom I had not seen for a year - it was indeed "fatiguing" with her, poor soul. - Then the big girls joined us and we went to the Noblemen's assembly. - By chance I fell upon a day when they were all assembled at a sitting - well, let them, perhaps all the better & will make them amiable.
We had tea in the train. Upon our return I found yr. sweet telegram for wh. tenderest thanks - how glad I am that our attack near Baranovitchi was successful. - Ella wired that my Grodno hospital with Mme Kaygorodova has settled down at Moscou, in a nice, new house, -
Then I received Volzhin with whom I talked for 3/4 of an hour; he made me a perfect impression, God grant all his good intentions may be successful & he have the strength to bring them into life - he indeed seems the right man in the right place, very glad to work with energetic young Khvostov. - In going away he asked me to bless him, wh. touched me very much - one sees he is full of best intentions & understands the needs of our church perfectly well. How awfully difficult it was to find the right man - & you got him I think. - We touched all the most vital questions of out Priesthood refugees Synod etc. - Gunst comes at 9 to say goodbye, she is going to Bielgorod to join her mother. -
Now Lovebird I must send off my letter. God bless & protect you &
keep you from all harm. I kiss you my both Treasures over & over again.
Ever yr. very own old
I send you some of the postcards I ordered to have made, they cost 3 kopeeks & are sold for 5, so Massalov proposes I should use the money for some charity organisation & it must be printed on the back, so I shall think out for what. -
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 9-th 1915
My own precious One,
It is snowing -- the men were cutting the grass this morning & raking it away under the falling snow, I wonder why they waited so long. - Well, I have had again a day. The morning I had Rostovtzev's papers to read till 11 , then dressed, went to Znamenia called on Ania & at 12 was at hospital till 1. Mordvinov lunched with us, then I had Prince Galitzin, Rauchfuss, had to see about coats - then Ania came & read to me (as I cant talk the whole time), the head is so tired as so many things to remember - caviar, wine, postcards to the hospital - our prisoners - Babies etc. Then Ania has heaps to tell after all her conversations & her humour today is not famous (as I go away). Then after tea officers, Duvan fr. Eupatoria, again papers & lots more people to see before leaving & all must be fitted in. Our Friend is with her, & we shall probably go there in the evening he puts her out by saying she will probably never really walk a-gain, poor child, better not to tell her with her caracter.
I am going to see Zhevakha to-morrow - to hear all about the Image, it will be interesting to hear all - it would be good to draw him to the Synod as worker. - I wonder how Baby's arm is - he so easily overtires it, being such a strong child & wanting to do everything like the others - you know Lovy, I think I must bring Marie & Anastasia too, it would be too sad to leave them all alone behind, I shall only tell them on Monday morning, as they love surprises. -- Mme Zizi wants to come as far as Tver as its her old town & she knows everybody, so she can be of much help to us. - Lovy, wont you go to Vitebsk with Baby, before we come, so as to see the army-corps wh. stands there, its interesting to see, Mordvinov says-or let us all go there together & from there you leave to the south somewhere to Ivanov. Think that over - it would be a w f u l l y interesting to see the troops, only 2 versts from Vitebsk by motor - our Friend always wanted me also to see troops, since last year till now he speaks of it - that it would also bring them luck. You speak it over with Voyeikov & let us go all together. We arrive 15 th morning at 9, I think & then you say for one or 2 days. - What intense joy to meet again, I do miss you both so dreadfully! Yesterday it was a week you left us, our precious sunny ones! -
Beletzky presents himself to-morrow. It seems he spoke very energetically to Polivanov & told him, that he knows his detectives work & spy & so do his watch, & that rather upset him. Mordvinov was full of best impressions of all he had seen - oh what good it does being out there, far from these grey, nasty, gossiping towns. -
Forgive my bad writing, but I am as usual in a hurry. - Shall see our Friend this evening at 9 at her house.
Sweetheart, how are things working near Riga, who are the 3 generals you cleared out ? -
I cannot imagine what Nikolasha does, now he has taken Istomin (who hates Gregory) who was Samarin's aide, as the chief of his chancellery.
Miechen is off with her train. Igor returned very ill, inflammation of the lungs & pleurisie - now he is out of danger, poor boy - he lies in the Marble palace - what bad health they all of them have, I pitty poor Mavra.
Now my Sunshine I must end. My longing is great for you & I eagerly count the
days that remain still. God bless & protect you, guard & guide you
now and ever. I cover you with tender kisses, my Treasure, & remain yr.
fondly loving very
I send you some flowers again, - I always kiss & bless your cushion morning & evening.
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 10-th 1915
My own beloved Darling,
Snowing and one degree of frost and grey; but still I slept with an open window. - What a lot of prisoners we have made against, but how is the news near Riga, that point disturbs one. - Our Friend, whom we saw last night, is otherwise quiet about the war, now another subject worries him very much and he spoke scarcely about anything else for two hours. It is this that you must give an order that waggons with flour, butter and sugar should be obliged to pass. He saw the whole thing in the night like a vision, all the towns, railway lines etc. its difficult to give over fr. his words, but he says it is very serious and that then we shall have no strikes. Only for such an organisation somebody ought to be sent from you. He wishes me to speak to you about all this very earnestly, severely even, and the girls are to help, therefore I already write about it beforehand for you to get accustomed to, the idea. He would propose 3 days no other trains should go except these with flour, butter and sugar - its even more necessary than meat or amunition just now. He counts that with 40 old soldiers one could load in an hour a train, send one after the other, but not all to one place, but to Petrograd Moscou - and stop some waggons at different places, by lines and have them by degrees brought on - not all to one place, that also would be bad, but to different stations, different buildings - if passenger trains only very few would be allowed and instead of all 4 classes these days hang on waggons with flour or butter fr. Siberia. The lines are less filled there coming towards the west and the discontentment will be intense, if the things dont move. People will scream and say its impossible, frighten you, if can be done and "will hark" as he says - but its necessary and t h o ' a r i s k , essential. In three days one could bring enough for very many months. It may seem strange how I write it, but if one goes into the thought - one sees the truth of it. After all one can do anything, and one must give the order beforehand about these three days, like for a lottery or collect - so that all can arrange themselves good - now it must be done and quickly. Only you ought to choose an energetic man to go to Siberia to the big line and he can have some others who will watch at the big stations and embranchments and see the thing works properly, without unnecessary stoppages. I suppose you will see Khvostov be fore me, therefore I write all. He told me to speak it to Beletzky and to morrow to the old man, so as that they should think about it quicker. Khvostov says its Rukhlov's fault, as he is old and does not go himself to see what is going on, therefore if you send somebody quite else to see to the thing, it would be good. - If one looks at the map; one sees the branching off lines and from Viatka. Also one ought to get sugar from Kiev. - But especially the flower and butter wh. overflows in Yalutersk and other districts - old men, soldiers can be used as there are otherwise not enough men to pack up and load the waggons. - Make it spread like a notwork and push on them and fill up - there are sufficient waggons. Well, please, seriously think this over. - Now enough of this topic. A. is very put out He wont let her go anywhere, Bielgorod for instance, whilst we are away - and when I encouraged her to go she found her house so cosy, that she did not wish to leave it;, its always the same thing and it does not improve her mood and spoils ones pleasure when one rejoices to see you Darlings soon. - He finds it necessary to remain on here to watch how things are going, but if she leaves then he will too, as he has nobody otherwise to help him. Yes, He blesses you for the arrangement of these waggons, trains. - Again I cannot go to the hospital, as have four people to receive before luncheon; and each will have a lot to talk about. At 2.20 We go to the Winter Palace for the opening of the hospital. I take the 4 Girlies -- Mother dear will be there too and heaps of people if there is time I shall pass through the Store, At 6 I receive again - its madning. -- In the train I must speak with Ressin about our journey. - I am so tired and M. Becker will be coming too. - Here we are back again from town. The hospital in the Winter Palace is really splendid - a marvel how quick all the works have been done - one does not know where one is with rooms made in rooms quite excellent, and the baths, any amount of them. You must come and see it some day, its certainly worth while seeing. From there we went to the Store right through. - Beletzky told me, that you are leaving to-day or to morrow for Tchernigov, Kiev Berditchev, but Voyeikov only mentioned yr. name, therefore I wired about Baby, because he can remain in the train when necessary and appear too sometimes - the more you and he show yourselves together, the better it is and he does love it so, and our Friend is so happy about it; and so is your old Sunny when Sunbeam accompainies sunshine through the country. Wee God bless you, my Angels. - We think of leaving monday evening at 10 1/2 - reaching Tver at 9-91/2 and remaining there till 3 or 5 - the next morning, Wednesday at 81/2 at Velikia-Laki for several hours - and in the evening 8 1/2 at Orsha where we can see several establishments of Tatiana's committees - its too late to go on to Moghilev so shall spend the night there and be at 9 1/2 at Moghilev Thursday morning. You will then tell us how long we are to remain. It will be such a joy! Zhevakha is charming and we had a thorough talk about every thing - he knows all Church questions and the clergy and Bishops a fond, so he would be good as a help to Volzhin. The latter spoke well at the Synod it seems. - Beletzky pleased me, another energetic man. - Now I have been talking to the American Mr. Hearte for 1 h. and 20 m. about our prisoners in Germany and Austria and he brought me photos I'll show you. He helps a lot now he goes again to visit the Germans and Austr. here. - Well my Sunshine, Goodbye and God bless you. If you see Olga kiss her tenderly from me - my prayers follow you everywhere so tenderly. -
Very tender kisses. Sweatheart fr., yr., own deeply endlessly loving old
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 27-th 1915
My very own Sweetheart,
There off you are again my two treasures - God bless your journey & send His Angels to guard & guide you. May you only have beautiful impressions & everything go off well, What will the sea be like? Dress warmly
Lovy, its sure to be bitterly cold - may it only not be rough. - Von will take Baby on some ships - but not out to sea & perhaps to the forts, depending how you find his health. I feel so much quieter for you knowing that precious child near you to warm & cheer you up with his bright spirit & by his tender presence. Its more than sad without you both. But we wont speak of that. -- See that he dresses warm enough. - I wish the old man wld. stay at home I find it a shame he goes with you as you will feel nervous on his account but insist upon Feodorov being severe with him. - Give me news whenever you can, as shall anxiously follow your journey; I know you wont risk anything & remember what He said about Riga. - Sweet Angel, God bless & protect you -- ever near & with you my own Sweets, its su c h pain every time & I am glad its in the evening at least, when one can go straight home to ones room.
Yr. warm caresses are my life & I always recall & remember them with infinite tenderness & gratitude. -
Sleep well, Lovebird - Holy Angels guard yr. slumber - tiny is near by to keep you warm & cheer you up. -
Ever yr, very own, endlessly loving
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 28-th 1915
My own sweet One
Such tender thoughts follow you both darlings everywhere. I am glad you saw so many troops, I did not think you would at Reval. How I wonder whether you will go on to Riga & Dvinsk. - So bitterly cold, but bright sunshine. Miss you both quite horribly, but feel much quieter for you as sunbeam is there to cheer you up & keep company. No need to motor with Fred. & Voyeikov now. Do have the old man always watched, our Fr. is afraid he may do something stupid before the troops. Let somebody follow & have an eye upon him. -- A. gave me this paper for you -- she forgot to tell it to me, probably not grasping what it would mean to us about Baby's health & the great weight lifted at last fr. ones shoulder after 11 years of constant anxiety & fright! -
Forgive me bothering you already with a paper, but Rostovtzev sent it to me Voyeikov can send the answer to Rostovtzev - that would be best.
I was not long at the hospital as had much to read. We had Valla, Iza, Mr. Malcolm & Lady Sibyl Grey to lunch - they are such nice people (arranging the hospital in Ella's house - the operation room will be in the room of Ella's with the 3 lights wh. you used to watch). - Then I received our 3 sisters, who go to Austria & Kazbek my lancer. Please remember about Kniazhevitch. --- Went straight to bed fr. the station, sad & lonely -
saw yr. sweet faces before me - my two St. George's treasures. - Goodbye Sweetheart! God bless & protect you now & ever. Cover you with kisses & yearn for yr. embrace.
Ever yr. very own old
I wonder whether this goes to the Headquarters or Pskov, wh. wld. have been cleverest. - Am so glad I know now where & how you live & the drives, country around & Church - can follow you everywhere. All my love.
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 29-th 1915
My own beloved
I just received yr. wire from Venden, wh. came fr. 10-11.5, so now I suppose you are at Riga. All my thoughts and prayers surround you my darlings. How interesting all you saw at Reval - can imagine how enchanted the English submarines must have been that you inspected them - they know now for whom they are so valiantly fighting. The manufacteries and ship building yards are sure to work doubly hard and energetically now. Wonder whether Baby accompanied you and what you did with the old man. - Here too its a little bit warmer, 5 degree of frost and sunshine. I remain in bed till 12 as heart a little enlarged and aches as does my head (not too bad) since yesterday. Then I have several gentlemen to see with Reports and that is fatiguing when the head is tired. - I shall finish this later, as may have more to tell then. Sweety, again I come with a petition, wh. the widow Mine Beliaieva brought me to-day. - Groten came to Ania today, in despair to be without a place - he is well now and will go to the regiment to give it over and then he has to go to Dvinsk with Reserves - but perhaps you will think about getting him a nomination. His eldest officer got a regiment and now a brigade already. I am quite ramolished after all the people I saw. Mlle Schneider was interesting and talked like a fountain - we just arranged with her to keep Krivoshein in the new Home Manufactures committee, as he can be most useful. Excuse such a beastly dull letter, but am incapable of writing a decent letter. I bless and kiss you over and over again - sad lonely nights and don't sleep very well. God be with you.
Ever yr. very own old
Remember about Kniazhevitch.
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 30,th 1915
My precious Darling,
It is thawing, raining and terribly dreary and dark this morning. Many thanks for last nights telegram again from Venden. I am happy you managed to go beyond Riga - it will be a consolation to the troops and make the town inhabitants more reassured. - Was Baby excited to hear the. distant shooting? How different your life is now, thank God, with nobody to keep you from traveling about and showing yourself to the soldiers. Nikolasha must now realise how false his ideas were and how much he personnally lost by never having shown himself anywhere. Old Mme Beliaieva told me yesterday, that she had a letter from her son yesterday from England (all 6 serve in the artillery). He is attached to Kitchener and has to see about our orders being executed there. - Georgie received him and spoke about you just that you are with the troops and Kitchener wont allow him to go wh. is a sore point. Beliaiev answered him, that here there is a great difference, we are fighting on our own territory wh. he would not be doing. This simple answer seemed to console him and Kitchener was very contented when Beliaiev repeated their conversation. I was sure it wld. torment Georgie but he does visit the troops in France from time to time.
Markosov is off to Sweden to meet Max etc. and speak over the questions of all the prisoners. M. just returned from Tashkent as he wanted to see how they were cared for there, and found 760 Austrians, officers, but only 15 intelligent people to look after them, to answer their questions etc. - I think he can be of use, as he is very just, wh. people are not inclined to be now. But one sends him without any instructions wh. is foolish, and its the business of the red cross who sends him to do so. - Thank goodness the Epaulets have been restored to. the officers. - I hope, Deary, that as soon as you reach the Headquarter one will print in the papers where you have been and what you have seen. How does the old man get on? I hope Feodorov keeps an eye upon him and that he want gaffe before the foreigners. Strange at the Headquarters without us? The noisy girls not there. Eristov wrote to Ania, that you will be receiving a petition from Molostvo's widow, to receive a yearly substitute. It seems he left her scarcely a penny and she is in an awful dilemma. He squandered his small capital sold his estate to his brother and the crumbs which remained will with difficulty cover the debts which were left alter his death. Unfortunately the victims of an epidemic have not the same privileges as those who fell in Battle. He is delighted that Afrossimov has been advanced as General, and in the suite, an honour to the regiment. Would Groten have done for yr. lancers, how do you think? I had old Shvedov for 1/2 hour and I told him I shall go one day and see where the young men work.. Sazonov is a nuisance - always jalousie de metier, but in my Imperial academy of oriental sciences we have to prepare good consuls who know the languages, religions, customs etc. of the east. - Isa lunched with us - then I received 3 young officers returning to the war after wh. we went to the big palace -- the hospital exists since a year, so we had lots of groups taken. Later I received joy Kantakuzen who talked a lot, her husband is delighted to command yr. curassiers. Then P-ss Galitzin of Smolna, 'then I read - - A. went to town and returns only at 91/2 (with Groten) as they dine at Mme Orlov's in town. - own. -
I do so wonder whether you reached the Headquarters to-day or went to Dvinsk. Sweet Angel, goodbye and God bless and keep you, endless passionate kisses fr. yr. old
Messages to the old man and N. P.
Tsarskoie Selo, Oct. 31-st 1915
I am so glad that you saw the splendid troops at Vitebsk you have done a lot in these days - such joy Baby can accompany you everywhere. - Its grey, thawing, raining; I remain at home as my heart more enlarged and don't feel very nice all these days. It had to come sooner or later as I had done so much and still a lot ahead to be done.
Olga only got up for a drive and now after tea she remains on the sopha and we shall dine upstairs - this is my treatment - she must lie more, as goes about so pale and wearily - the Arsenic injections will act quicker like that, you see. - All the snow has melted away.
I just heard through Rostovtzev that my lancer Baron Tiesenhausen suddenly died on his post as a guard - it seems to me very strange - he had no heart complaint. His young wife died this winter.
Our Fr. is happy you saw so much, says you walked all in the clouds. Isa lunched and bid us goodbye, she leaves to-morrow early fr. town for Copenhagen, to see her Father for 5 days, after 2 years' separation.
Do you look at our names on the window sometimes! Paul is better but I think Varavka speaks of an operation wh. Feodorov dreaded on account of his heart. The wife says he cannot take any food, only a cup of tea. -
Alas, no Church for Olga and me - and I cannot go on Monday to the Supreme Council, it had to come, I had overtired myself - and I do so miss you my own Treasures. Well Love, Goodbye and God bless you.
I cover you with tenderest kisses and remain yr, very own old
What is Greece up to? Does not sound very encouraging - hang those Balkans all. Now that idiotical Roumania, what will she do?
RETURN TO THE TABLE OF CONTENTS
This online edition was produced due to the gracious contributions of Nancy Batey, Julie Moscinski, Andrea Cotton, Dominic Albanese, Sam Robinson - and one sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous.
To read the letters of the Tsar to the Tsaritsa click here.
Comments on this website should be directed to Bob Atchison
Website by Pallasart - Austin Web Design